Survival: Year One

I honestly forgot all about my blog in the last year.  True Story!  When you get married, no one warns you your life is about to get busy, very busy.  I apologize for my absence and am thankful to my friend Nital who recently reminded me to write again.

So what's keeping spicy curry so busy?  Living with the in-laws.

I love my mother and father in law.  They're incredibly sweet people and they never make me feel uncomfortable living with them.  They've honestly made a conscious effort to make sure I feel at home, especially my mother in law.  We also live with one of my sister in law as well too.  Going from living alone the last 3 years to sharing a space with 4 other people was initially a very intimidating thought for me.  I was just so afraid I was going to upset someone or everyone with my habits.  I am a bit on the messy side but that's primarily Nirmal's problem.  *hehehehe* Just kidding!  On a serious note though, I was so used to not having someone "mother" me on a daily basis that I was really afraid my mouth might get me in trouble when talking.  To keep myself in check and in boundary, I deployed the following tactics:

• Only speak when spoken to- I can talk, and talk, and talk... I didn't want to annoy anyone with the amount of verbage that came out of my mouth since no one else is like that
• When asked an opinion, only give vague responses (esp when my opinion can really go without)
• When speaking to family members, try to avoid speaking in English to maintain the good girl image and score brownie points with the in-laws
• When asked why I don't want to eat something, only say, "I tried it and I'm not a fan of the texture"
• Do not say the words "garlic", "onions", "eggs," or "alcohol"
• If we ever go out anywhere, I prep Nirmal what to say and only let him do the talking when we're questioned 
• Never get angry outside the bedroom door at the husband- I can only imagine the disaster it would turn into if it was known we're fighting about something.

So far the tactics have worked.  Yay!  It really hasn't been bad.  There are some days when even the best of us get frustrated with small things but then you get over it.  I'd been educated by many, many friends before I moved in to make sure I remember to pick and choose my battles.  This has really been my core to keeping my cool and making sure I don't start venting something dumb to Nirmal because I don't ever wanna be that girl that put her husband in awkward positions with his family where he had to pick and choose whose side he was going to take.  Plus, I've learned over the past year that although my husband is not a mama's boy, he definitely is his mom's baby.  Honestly, my MIL is so cute I just want to put her in my pocket some days and just be like "aww, honey" (HIMYM episode reference).  But as cute as she is and as much as I love her, I can't wait for her to retire and just stay at home and hopefully slow down on the cooking.

As far the adventures go, I'll post them all.  I must confess though that marital shenanigans just don't compare to single life shenanigans.  True story!

Newlywed Me

Newlyweds for 25 days now!  Life is looking good right now.  

Sadly I got sick four days before the wedding and on the day of, I was constantly shoving cough drops in my mouth to avoid a coughing fit.  2 days after my Big, Fat Wedding, I got even more sick and finally caved in into going to the Urgent Care.

Surprise, surprise, I have a fever of 101.9F  I had some bad chills and it took so much energy to walk.  After 30 mins of waiting on the MD to see me, the RN got concerned and took my temp again- 102.9F  MD didnt take too much longer after that to come see me.

End result: suspected West Nile Fever vs. New Onset Asthma and Pneumonia

Awesome.  A great way to start a marriage right?  Needless to say I spent a week in bed.  I was supposed to start work 11 days after the wedding but I have to wait for my temporary Texas RN license to come in since my CA license isn't acceptable to work under here, even on a provisional basis.  Getting all this work stuff sorted has been an utter pain in the ass.  Took me 4 trips to the DMV before I finally was able to switch license -_-

In the meantime, Jabs and I have been lucky to have the place to ourselves during the day and really spend quality time together, which is so nice for many reasons:

• We will be living with my in-laws, who are currently out of the country 
• No honeymoon for us right now
• We're both not working at this time- which hopefully never happens again to us
• Gives us an opportunity to settle in and get to know one another well

Anyways, I am feeling much better and have gotten my voice back but a cough still lingers.  However, my spirit stays strong.

He Put a Ring on It

He put a ring on it.  He who?  Jabro.  Well, now I just call him Jabs.

We were officially engaged on January 27, 2012.  And since then, wedding planning has been in full swing, explaining my absence on here with my wild stories.

So, there are three girls in my family.  After me, my sister would've been next up for grabs, and after her, the little one.  But they both had boyfriends, and soon after my engagement, the little two soon followed suit.  My second sister is engaged to be married 2 weeks before me this year.  A decision that took me time to getting used to; all for the better I suppose.

Anyways, with 2 big fat Indian weddings coming up this summer, needless to say I've had a pretty full plate.  I am very excited for the summer though.  There are so many changes ahead.  Getting married, having a new place, living with the in-laws, and starting a new job. 

The journey ahead is going to be bittersweet but very welcome in the next new chapter of my life.  Let's do this!

New Year, New Beginnings

Well, it finally happened. 

I met a guy who wasnt a total jerk.  In fact, he is the most sincere and down to earth man I've ever met.  The first day we met, I was very much guarded and a bit hostile if you must because I was just so sick of going out on a bad date, and I had to fly back to Texas to meet him.  Surprisingly, he kept winning me over throughout the night.

He's officially the 2nd guy I ever let hold my hand on a date.  Albeit, it was for only 30 mins.  I'm not a fan of holding hands- at all.  Makes me feel like a child.

Anyway, I met him again 2 days after our first meeting and as soon as I saw him, I just sat there on the couch in his living room thinking, "I'm totally gonna marry this guy."

Astonished?  So was I!  I'd only known the guy for a total of maybe 40 days!  Never in my life did I ever think I'd want to marry someone after one meeting/date.  I'm not in love with him just yet, but I'm very fond of him.  I'm slowly learning to open myself up emotionally to him and allowing him to fill this heavy void I've been carrying with me for a very long time.  I'm so excited for this year and my engagement in 27 more days!!!

A Man's POV

So I was getting ready to share another story with you all today but then I came across something interesting.  An Indian man writing from his POV on arranged marriage.  Here's the link: http://www.rahuldesai.com/blog/tabid/3310/bid/5117/Ten-Rules-of-Arranged-Marriage-in-India.aspx

Bhootni Ke

So, there was once a guy that we will call "Bhootni Ke."  This translates to "like a ghost."

Now, being called a ghost is no compliment.  But I think the name suits him perfectly.  I met this one online and he lasted a whole 2 weeks in my life.  Seems like he was around a lot longer than that.  I may live off Meany Ave; Bhootni Ke was the epitome of a meanie.
Bhootni Ke seemed nice at first.  We had some things in common.  He was from Thailand so it was pretty interesting to hear stories about his childhood.  He seemed ok to meet but thank goodness he revealed his ugly side before that happened.  This story is from 2010 right around the time I got injured at work.  The guy became such an unsupportive jerk when I mentioned I needed to start physical therapy for my leg.  Then, to top things off, he tells me he's gonna go to India for a friend's wedding but was going to also look at some girls while there for marriage, and if he was still single when he came back, then he wanted something to work out between the two of us.

Mind you, I'm a pretty nice person.  I've never yelled at anyone before until I met this one.  His ego was the size of Bill Gates' mansion.  Makes sense for a short guy of 5'2" right?  Napoleon must've been reincarnated through this one.... ok, that's mean for me to say, but this guy was SO MEAN!!! 

Weaving In & Out

I got so caught up in telling you all my current story that I completely forgot about someone important who's weaved in and out of life over the last few years.  I thought about leaving him out of the blog, but he's been an important part of my life during my bad times, so I gotta tell his tale.  We will call him Ducky.  Why?  Because he tried to woo me over Easter with a Duck.  It was rather cute.

Ducky is a very sweet guy that I met in college.  At the time we met, I was with my now Ex.  So, I shoved him in the friends category until I was single.  I knew the guy was head over heels about me but since I was recently single, I wanted things to go slow.  At the time, my closest friends were my high school buddies who were slowing losing contact with me bc they all went to the big universities filled with tons of boys.  Sad to say, I had no girlfriend at the time who could've understood my circumstances; only guy friends.  Ducky being one of them.

This guy and I got to know each other very well, and we spent almost every day together.  There are secrets we both know about one another that we'll take to our graves.  For fun, we'd go star gazing and just sit there without saying a word to one another.  We'd formed a really deep bond.

Sounds great right?  It was.  My family eventually met him.  Everyone loves him and tells me to marry the guy.  But I fudged it all up.  My Ex had me so manipulated and brainwashed that I got back with him and left this one.  One of the biggest mistakes I've ever made in my life.  I regretted that decision so much.  There are times when I sit and think about that time in my life and I wished I had my now bestie back then to slap me straight. 

But that's just how the cookie crumbles I guess.