Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Survival: Year One

I honestly forgot all about my blog in the last year.  True Story!  When you get married, no one warns you your life is about to get busy, very busy.  I apologize for my absence and am thankful to my friend Nital who recently reminded me to write again.

So what's keeping spicy curry so busy?  Living with the in-laws.

I love my mother and father in law.  They're incredibly sweet people and they never make me feel uncomfortable living with them.  They've honestly made a conscious effort to make sure I feel at home, especially my mother in law.  We also live with one of my sister in law as well too.  Going from living alone the last 3 years to sharing a space with 4 other people was initially a very intimidating thought for me.  I was just so afraid I was going to upset someone or everyone with my habits.  I am a bit on the messy side but that's primarily Nirmal's problem.  *hehehehe* Just kidding!  On a serious note though, I was so used to not having someone "mother" me on a daily basis that I was really afraid my mouth might get me in trouble when talking.  To keep myself in check and in boundary, I deployed the following tactics:

  • Only speak when spoken to- I can talk, and talk, and talk... I didn't want to annoy anyone with the amount of verbage that came out of my mouth since no one else is like that
  • When asked an opinion, only give vague responses (esp when my opinion can really go without)
  • When speaking to family members, try to avoid speaking in English to maintain the good girl image and score brownie points with the in-laws
  • When asked why I don't want to eat something, only say, "I tried it and I'm not a fan of the texture"
  • Do not say the words "garlic", "onions", "eggs," or "alcohol"
  • If we ever go out anywhere, I prep Nirmal what to say and only let him do the talking when we're questioned 
  • Never get angry outside the bedroom door at the husband- I can only imagine the disaster it would turn into if it was known we're fighting about something.
So far the tactics have worked.  Yay!  It really hasn't been bad.  There are some days when even the best of us get frustrated with small things but then you get over it.  I'd been educated by many, many friends before I moved in to make sure I remember to pick and choose my battles.  This has really been my core to keeping my cool and making sure I don't start venting something dumb to Nirmal because I don't ever wanna be that girl that put her husband in awkward positions with his family where he had to pick and choose whose side he was going to take.  Plus, I've learned over the past year that although my husband is not a mama's boy, he definitely is his mom's baby.  Honestly, my MIL is so cute I just want to put her in my pocket some days and just be like "aww, honey" (HIMYM episode reference).  But as cute as she is and as much as I love her, I can't wait for her to retire and just stay at home and hopefully slow down on the cooking.

As far the adventures go, I'll post them all.  I must confess though that marital shenanigans just don't compare to single life shenanigans.  True story!